Saturday, November 29, 2014

On Memories of Putting up the Family Christmas Tree

One of the most cherished traditions of the Christmas season is bringing home the Christmas tree. I remember as a child my whole family would pile into the old station wagon and head for the tree lot in town. Traditionally we didn’t put the tree up until Christmas Eve (Mom’s rules!) but we bought it a couple of weeks before that each year to have a good selection. We’d all jump out of the car and scatter into the dark recesses of the tree lot, and cries of, “Come look at this one, Mom! Come see this one, Dad!” would be heard from all directions. There were six of us, plus Mom and Dad. We’d argue over this tree or that, searching for the fattest, fullest, tallest tree on the lot. But ultimately it was Mom who had the final say. She always chose a big, Blue Spruce. Our home had high ceilings, so it was usually over eight feet tall. Dad and the tree lot guy would wrestle the prickly monster onto the roof of the Chevy wagon – not as high up as today’s wagon, the mini-van – and tie it down. Then off home we’d go, singing Christmas carols and fighting over prime seating.
Back then you didn’t worry about seat belts, so generally the wayback was laid down, and all of us kids would crowd into the back on piles of blankets and bounce around like jumping beans all the way home.
At home, Dad would place the cut end of the tree into a bucket of water, which he kept religiously filled until the big day came and that magnificent tree came inside and was ceremoniously shoved and screwed into the old-fashioned, red and green metal stand, accompanied by much cussing, and eager “help” from us kids. Nothing skins a knuckle like the screws on a Christmas tree stand, let me tell you.
Then Dad would stand it up and one of us kids would belly under there and fill the stand with water. Dad would then anchor the tree to the wall on two sides with fishing line – our old Siamese cat, Sam, was a climber. The story of the year the tree came down and many antique ornaments shattered is often retold even today.
Then all the kids would run pell mell up to the attic and bring down the box of ornaments and the box of Christmas doo dads. And somebody else would carry down the box with the family nativity, inherited from Aunt Mildred. I always carried the box with my very own nativity, given to me on my twelfth birthday by my godmother, Aunt Priscilla. That nativity still goes up every year to this day. The first thing I always did -- and still do! -- when I opened that box was to sniff deeply of that good, German rubber. Ahhhh. That smells like Christmas, even today. 
We’d thunder back downstairs with our treasures, and open the boxes on the living room floor while Dad struggled with the strands of fat, colored tree lights. New words were learned on such occasions.
After the lights were up, Mom and Dad would sit on the couch enjoying a little Christmas cheer while we kids unloaded the ornaments. Each child was allowed to hang his or her own, personal ornaments, and how we cherished each one! Our Grandma Mullen gave us each a new one most years, so we had a nice collection. My personal favorite was the pink, velvet elephant perched on a blue circus ball.
Dad hung the colored, glass balls, just so, with Mom offering little bits of advice from the couch.
“There’s a blank spot over there, Gene. No, just a bit higher. There you go!” she’d say, smiling serenely. Good eggnog, I think in retrospect.
Finally it would be time for the angel. This was a sore spot with me, as two of my little sisters had angels which alternated years as the tree topper. One had yellow hair, the other, pink. Their dresses were made of burlap. As the oldest, it was hard for me to swallow that special privilege going to them. A sad confession, but there you are. It was probably character building.
(My mother eventually did, out of pity, get me an angel. She had a red, polka-dotted, cardboard skirt and hard, plastic hair painted gold. She held candles in her hands, and had very seductive eyes. However, she didn't make it to the top of a tree until I got married, and was ousted when my first daughter was born, and was given a lovely, Precious Moments tree-topper angel by her God-mother.)
At last, the tree would be done. The traditional decorations, such as the plastic and red velvet mistletoe ball and the odd, dry-cleaner-bag wreath made by Grandma Mullen; the candles shaped like Santa and Mrs. Claus which got a little stumpier every year and could never be burned; the bowl of silver and blue balls which shed fake snow; the little, wooden angel family representing all of us; and the statue of the Holy Family, were placed around the house.
We’d all drink hot chocolate and sit in the darkened living room, listening to the Firestone Christmas albums playing on the LP player, staring at the tree, and enjoying a rare moment of familial harmony.
Those were good times. I’ve tried to carry them through for my own children, and we have incorporated some of my childhood traditions and some of their dad’s. And we’ve made up some of our own. The tree goes up Thanksgiving weekend, and we have all the fun of admiring the ornaments and enjoying that lovely, fresh tree – I prefer a fir – through mid-January. But the fetching of the Chlovechok tree is another story for another day. Merry Christmas from the Chlovechok family!

Thursday, November 27, 2014

A Funny Thanksgiving Story

Ah, family get-togethers: The petri-dish of hilarious memories and embarrassing tales that never, never die.
Nothing will beat the year my brother, Alex, set the stuffing on fire. (Maybe I'll re-post that tomorrow.) But we had a funny thing happen this Thanksgiving.
I always cook the turkey according to my dad's recipe, which calls for an hour-and-a-half of browning time on each side before tenting the bird with aluminum foil to allow it to cook out the final few hours without over-browning.
Today I cooked the turkey at my brother's house. He has a nice stove with a digital control for the oven and timer. When the timer went off after the second browning session at around 2:30, and it was time to tent the bird with foil, I found my brother-in-law (who has requested he remain unnamed) turning off the timer.
I tented it the turkey, and then set the timer for three hours before heading up to take a nap in a spare room.
At 5:30 the timer went off, and I asked one of the men lurking around the house sniffing the air to remove it from the oven. He did so, and I took off the foil, to discover the timer hadn't popped up. The bird was a bit pale, too. And the final, damning evidence of trouble, we noticed the oven...and the bird...weren't hot any more.
Oh oh.
My bro-in-law sheepishly said, "Um, I think when I turned off the timer (three hours earlier, remember) I actually turned off the oven."
Whoops.
So the bird had been languishing in the oven for three hours, making no forward progress.
Fortunately, Kelsey and her beau, Jeremy, had brought another turkey to deep fry out in the yard. And we'd planned to eat late anyway. So I turned the oven back on, and Mr. Turkey resumed roasting.
We were hungry, so we decided to go ahead and eat the pies then! And I think this was a great decision, because I'm usually too full from dinner to enjoy the pie. This year, the pie was the featured first course.
At 9 p.m. we all sat down to a late, but fabulous, Thanksgiving dinner.
And it was delicious!
Happy Thanksgiving!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

On This, the Eve of the Anniversary of my Mother's Death.

Thirteen years ago tonight, we got the call we'd been dreading -- and then resignedly awaiting --  for three years, ever since Mom was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Ironically, she was the one making the call.
"I'm going to Hospice," she breathed strenuously. "I'm calling to say goodbye. I love you."
"Mom! I love you, too. You wait for me! I'm coming!" I cried. I gathered my brother, my children, my husband, and we made the two-and-a-half hour trip to Dayton. It was after 10 p.m. when we arrived. Amazingly, as we pulled into the parking lot of Hospice of Dayton, so did my sister from Chicago and her family. My sister and brother from Columbus beat us there.
All six of us made it in time to spend Mom's last few hours by her side.
Only our sister who lived in Dayton, who had spent so much of her time during those years helping Dad care for Mom, wasn't there at the very end. She and Dad had gone to rest when we got there, thinking there would be more time.
We always think that, don't we?
And it seemed that Mom couldn't let go in front of them, as if doing so would somehow let them down since they'd spent so much time and effort keeping her alive and as comfortable as possible. So while they were there, she endured.
When they went home to rest, she began to let go. I've heard this happens all the time.
We sat around that bed, with our husbands keeping watch, and sang her favorite songs while she smiled and listened with her eyes closed.
We told all the old, family stories and  jokes.
Her breathing grew slower, but she hung on.
"Mom," we finally whispered, "It's okay to let go. It's okay to go now."
She sighed. It was okay.
And at the end, she opened her eyes and looked toward the bottom of the bed and whispered, "Daddy . . . "
I looked, but couldn't see the grandfather I'd never met. But I believe her beloved father came to escort her on her way. Why not?
She breathed her last, and we weren't sure. The nurse confirmed she was gone. And my brothers went to get Dad and our sister.
And you know, if she had to die, it was a good death. She didn't seem to suffer. We were with her. It could have been worse.
You'll know what the days that followed were like, if you've ever lost someone close. And we all stood by each other, and by Dad. We all still stand by each other 13 years later.
Tonight, we've chatted about Mom on our sibling text chain. Memories, jokes, silly things only we get.
We'll all call Dad tonight or tomorrow, to reminisce with him.
God blessed us, and continues to do so, because he gave us parents who taught us to care, even when it hurts.
Mom, you did a good job. Thanks for teaching us to follow in your footsteps.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

On ... I'll give you something to worry about!

What, me? Worry?
Remember the guy from Mad Magazine? He always said, “What, me? Worry?” with a big grin on his face. I liked that cartoon guy. Good attitude. 

These days we tend to worry about everything, whether we can do a darned thing about it or not.  I’m often guilty.
Lately, people have been worrying a lot about the terrible disease spreading in Africa called Ebola. And it’s a bad one, for sure.
But for right now, at least, it isn’t freely spreading in the U.S. 
It’s contagious through body fluids, so to get it, you need to come into contact with the body fluids of an infected person. Fortunately, that’s not very likely for most of us right at this moment, in this place. That could change, and if it does, I’m sure there will be all sorts of advice on how we can protect ourselves. 
In fact, I was at a hospital today, and there are now signs posted here and there asking people specifically whether they've traveled in Africa in Ebola-infected countries, and explicitly depicting symptoms. 
Now, if you throw up, get diarrhea or a fever, but you HAVE NOT been to Africa lately, and you HAVE NOT been exposed to someone who has, then you MOST LIKELY do NOT have Ebola. You've got an intestinal bug or something, so take a Tylenol and chill, ok?
If you start throwing up or pooping blood, well, you're in trouble, though it's still probably not Ebola. Get help. 
So, got it? For now, you most likely don't need to worry about getting Ebola in the U.S. 

Meanwhile, there’s something else you DO need to – and can! – protect yourself against.
It is a disease you need to worry about right here and right now. It’s Influenza – the flu. It kills a lot of people right here in the U.S. every year, and not only the very young or very old or immuno-compromised people, as you might think. It sometimes, inexplicably, kills the young and healthy.
But guess what? You can protect yourself and your family right now by getting a simple, inexpensive flu shot. You can get one at your doctor’s office, at a local pharmacy, at the health department in your county. 
I just can't get my head around people who are afraid of getting something as unlikely as Ebola, but won't get a flu shot to protect themselves against a real-life killer right here at home. Sheesh! SHEESH!
When I was a kid, I'd often worry about other people's business. I'd worry about whether I was doing more chores than my sisters, for example. Heh. I remember my dad catching me behaving in this rather unbecoming fashion and saying, "I'll give you something to worry about!"
Well, I'm a grown-up now, and I know there are things to worry about . . . thing more important than who is doing the most chores. And things that are in my own reality, close to home. 
Don’t wait until it’s too late. Get yourself and your family vaccinated against the flu now, while the getting is good.
I got mine last week! Ain't I the bomb?