Just a happy time!

I know that the holidays can be a stressful time (who doesn’t?), and that many people are sad about lost loved ones, difficult life situations, and the many very hard bumps in our “life” roads.

The other day, I listened to someone commenting that she hates holidays in general – something about a bad extended family situation, rampant consumerism, loss of the real reason for the season, and other difficult things.

Plus, there’s so much bad going on in the world all the time, how can we justify experiencing joy when others aren’t?

My whole extended family created ridiculous ugly sweaters this year!

Yeah, I understand that these are all valid points, and everyone is entitled to their feelings. But I choose to overlook all the bad stuff and just be happy. This is my general attitude towards life, not just during the holiday season. I’m fairly annoying to the chronically pessimistic.

But it’s especially true now. What do I have to complain about that everyone else doesn’t experience, too? Life is a roller coaster; sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. At my age, I know there’s going to be time spent down. But I also know that if I hold on and scream a little, we’ll go back up the hill again.

I’m unapologetic; this is just a happy time! My kids are going to be home for Christmas. I’m able to put a turkey on the table, and gifts under the tree. We have a roof, heat, books to read, coffee to drink, each other. There are three books coming out this winter I’m anticipating eagerly. I’m taking a cruise this winter! There’s so much to look forward to!

I honestly believe happiness is a choice. I don’t live in a mental Shangri-La, but I don’t choose to be down in the dumps about the road bumps, either. There’s good stuff ahead; why not deal with the hard, while looking forward to the good?

Sometimes I get sad over things, of course. But I have faith that everything will be okay on balance. I hope this column doesn’t make you want to smack me for it, but rather makes you think, huh. I can choose to be happy, too.

God bless you, every one! And may you have a joyful and plentiful, and happy Christmas and New Year!

This News Makes Me Want to Sing!

I heard it on the radio today; the perfect excuse to not exercise! It seems that recent studies have proven that regular singing provides many of the same health benefits as doing yoga!

This is good news for me because I sing regularly, and because although I’d like to cultivate the image of being the kind of person who does yoga, (not to mention cultivating the physique of such a person!) the truth is I hate, hate, hate to exercise.

So what’s the scoop? It seems that singing involves deep, controlled breathing, with a full breath being taken in and then slowly let out with the musical phrase. In yoga practitioners draw in deep breaths and then let them out in a controlled manner, filling themselves with a sense of harmony.

It’s also been shown that members of a choir, while singing, experience a synchronizing of their heart beats, and a deep relaxation and feeling of wellbeing. Yoga is said to provide similar benefits. I wouldn’t know, though. The few times I’ve tried yoga, all I experienced was a profound sense of pain and excessive sweating, accompanied by feelings of inadequacy as I witnessed the others in the class bending their toned bodies into unnatural positions. After class I had a strange craving for pretzels.

That rarely happens when I’m singing.

The study went on to claim that the effort of moving into harmony with other singers creates a focus which enhances the health benefits of singing. I know this is true, as I’ve felt that deep connection with people with whom I’ve been singing.

All I’ve felt from people with whom I’ve done yoga is disdain or maybe pity as they observe my pathetic attempts to swoop gracefully from a crane-standing-on-waters-edge into a down dog position. And occasionally fear, as I topple sideways into someone else, threatening both their health and their sense of relaxation and harmony.

“Heh heh,” I’d mutter, picking myself up and offering a hand to my unfortunate neighbor. “That was supposed to be a down dog? I thought she said drowned dog! My bad!”

Singing mistakes rarely threaten people’s safety, although I’ve been told that people with perfect pitch can suffer profound pain when exposed to singers who are out of tune. I don’t have this problem, and frankly think that unless you’re a concert mistress or a piano tuner, perfect pitch would just be a nuisance.

It’s true that singing won’t make you thinner or stronger like yoga can if practiced regularly. But it’s not going to pull your muscles, and doesn’t require special clothing designed to embarrass you.

So I’m grabbing this chance to toss my yoga mat and tapes. The radio said I could!

I Think That I Shall Never See . . . With Apologies to Joyce Kilmer!

Trees

BY JOYCE KILMER

I think that I shall never see 

A poem lovely as a tree. 

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest 

Against the earth’s sweet flowing breast; 

A tree that looks at God all day, 

And lifts her leafy arms to pray; 

A tree that may in Summer wear 

A nest of robins in her hair; 

Upon whose bosom snow has lain; 

Who intimately lives with rain. 

Poems are made by fools like me, 

But only God can make a tree.

I hope Joyce Kilmer will forgive me for republishing his famous poem without permission. He died in 1918 at the age of 32, from a sniper's bullet in WWI. I hope he won't mind.

Today, as I watched a tree I've enjoyed for a few months since moving into my new home being cut down today, I cried. And I've been thinking about trees ever since. 

Kilmer's poem does the work for me of expressing the simple beauty of these silent giants. 

This particular tree stood across the street from my home. It was an elderly Norwegian Maple, and doubtless its time had come. But since living here, I've enjoyed watching the sunrise each morning lightening the sky, and the branches taking shape from the darkness as I sit in my chair (that still smells faintly of cat pee courtesy of a short-term kitty who stayed a few months with us last year). And each evening I've enjoyed watching the sun set behind the tree, turning the sky pink, orange or purple, highlighting the branches and twigs of the ancient maple, perfectly framed in my uncurtained window. 

It gave me peace. 

 Now the trunk stands alone, for some reason not having been removed yet, and the sky is darkening above it, without the charm of the branches that stood there for decades...possibly centuries...until today.

Do you ever wonder how it is you end up somewhere special, just at the moment in history when that thing that makes it special departs?

I'm glad I had a few months with this tree. And ridiculous as it may sound, I won't forget it. 

on DIE-t Time!

I'm no special snow flake. It's a new year, so I'm going for my typical, annual resolution: Lose Weight.
Never worked before, so I'm optimistically figuring it will this year!
What's different? Not my ability to fool myself, that's for sure!
So, how am I at least going to attempt to go about succeeding this time around?
I am going to Eat Less and Exercise More.
Yes, that is my big, secret plan.
Take in fewer calories, burn more.
So today, January 3, I started the 2017 DIE-t.
I'm going to eliminate bread, and pasta is only allowed A) On cheat day or B) in a diet frozen meal.
Cheat day is Sunday. Period. Not Sunday, plus Saturday on even months, but including Friday on days ending in "Y"
And cheat day is not the day to eat 12,000 calories, thus undoing the whole week's hard work. Cause guess what? Turns out calories are cumulative!
I know, it isn't fair, but there you have it. You can eat a righteous 1200 calories a day all week, and blow it all in one hard cheat day. That is not good on Monday when you step on the scale and you've gained all the week's weight-loss back, plus a couple pounds for good measure.
Booze is out, except, again, on cheat day. Yeah,  a glass of red wine may be healthy for my heart, but it's bad for my waistline, and that's bad for my heart, so it undoes its good effects in this case.
Wine can come back in about 60 pounds.
In is one Brazil nut every day. I read in Prevention magazine it's good for me...can't remember why.
Also in are cranberries. They want you to eat them raw, but yuck! I'll go with the dried, and try to find them without added sugar.
In is one, low fat Greek yogurt every morning. No sweat, as I was already enjoying this. That 12 grams of protein kick-starts my day and holds me over til lunch.
I'm adding a hard boiled egg to this morning routine, and all the high-test coffee I can drink, all day, til 5 p.m. when I'll switch to decaff.
Permissible lunch and dinner foods include soup, salad, eggs, lean meats, veggies, fruit, nuts, grains such as brown rice.
Out is delicious stuff like butter, maple syrup, high fat salad dressing, cereal, pancakes, sweets, candy, cookies, brownies, muffins. You get it.
Then, I must consider exercise as part of this goal. And I have.
I plan to swim once a week; lift weights once a week; walk twice a week, most likely on this nasty contraption in my living room in front of a movie.
I'll also try to throw in extra stair flights daily; yoga; and walking instead of driving where feasible.
So where does all this lead me? Hopefully, to a weight that doesn't register as dangerously obese on the health charts.
Did you know obese is not hard to be? Check out your weight, height, age, sex, etc on a BMI chart, and prepare to be depressed.
I'll tell you true, I have a long way to go, but I'm over 50 and don't want to die stupid. Heart disease? Stroke? Cancer? Injury? Diabetes? Hip and knee replacements? All can be traced to obesity.
So I'm a gonna wake up and stop smelling the bacon, and start getting smart, and lean and mean! (Mean, cause I love to eat, so fair warning.)
My target weight: 145.
My time limit: One year.
Weight to lose: That would be telling! ha! suffice to say, it's more than 60 pounds. Only a little more than five pounds a month. I can DO this!
I'm hoping for 15 pounds the first month, as my body doesn't realize what's happening to it. After that, it'll slow way down.
Here. I. Go!
(Only three days until Sunday!!!)

Stink Bugs and Other Bad Things to Eat

A couple weeks ago, I was innocently digging out the last few tasty morsels from the bottom of a bag of Andy Cap Cheddar Fries; crunchy, cheesy, slightly-stale-deliciousness.
Suddenly, my enjoyment was interrupted when the cheesy taste in my mouth switched to the unmistakable flavor of . . . stink bug!
Argh!

Stink Bug

Spit spit spit. My son stood there laughing helplessly as I flushed my mouth out with handfuls of water. Which did no good.
Soon, a burning sensation filled my mouth and spread across my lips.
"Google what happens when you eat a stink bug!" I ordered my son as I brewed a strong cup of coffee.
"Hmmm...says here they release a mild toxin that irritates your mouth tissues. And if you swallow one, you could end up nauseous and vomiting!"
He looked at me hopefully. "Do you feel like vomiting?"
"I didn't swallow it! You saw me spit it out."
"Still, are you sure?"
"Do you want me to be sick?" He shrugged. "Just want to see how accurate the article is."
I shook my head and guzzled coffee. My mouth tasted like a stink bug, and before you ask how I know what a stink bug tastes . . . well, how I knew before I ate one . . . they taste just like they smell. Unmistakable!
It was not a pleasant experience. From my selfish point of view, it matters little that it was way worse for the (late) bug.
You can't avoid stink bugs in our house during the winter. They come in through microscopic cracks and fly around, sounding like bumble bees. If you squash one, it stinks. Hence the name. They can also release a stinky goo when startled, so try not to offend the little blighters.
Related to stink bugs in my mind, if not in fact, is another little beetle, the Ladybug. She's much more socially acceptable, with her pretty, red shell decorated with those iconic black polka-dots.

Lady Bug

But like the stink bug, when threatened, she releases a foul smelling and tasting chemical. That's her protection against being eaten.
But it doesn't work against drowning. In Mt. Dew. MY Mt. Dew.
Tonight, I enjoyed a rare indulgence; a can of that delicious, bilious green pop chock-a-block full of calories, caffeine and sugar. I noticed the Ladybug crawling around on the table, but ignored it.
My mistake.
Awhile later, I took a swig of Dew . . . and drowned carcass of Ladybug tipped into my mouth.
Argh!
Spit spit spit. At least I didn't CHEW this one. So there was no foul taste.

Evil Bug (www.telltalegames.com)

But the Dew was probably full of chemical released during her unfortunate accident in MY POP.

So I dumped it out, sadly.

Now I'm having a cup of tea I can see into.
Two bugs in one month is a record for me. Reminds me of the time I brushed my teeth only to find a long beetle had been nestling in the bristles of the toothbrush.
What IS it with me and beetles?
 And then there was the time back in college I woke up to find a giant roach drinking my Mt. Dew. Maybe the pop is the connection? I literally heard the insect sipping my pop. That's a story for another time. Bottoms up! And eyes open!

Extreme Clean-out: Part Two -- Clothing Sortie!

Help! (from Lifeinpleasantville.com)

In French, the word "sortie" means an attack made by troops coming from a position of defense. I thought it was pretty appropriate for my campaign to rid myself of extra, unused clothing items, which is part two of my Spring/Summer Extreme Clean-out!
I kind of liked the play on words, too . . . sortie . . . sorting . . . get it?
I decided I simply couldn't face the world seeing photos of my clothes hording situation before I started sorting out, so this post will have no pics from my actual house.
Picture in your mind a pile of clothes in sizes ranging from current to five years ago all the way back to wishful thinking, overflowing the closets and dresser, piled on the chairs and heaped on the floor in my room.
Oh, the shame!
I've made a good start, creating several categories of new piles.
They are:
1. Donate

Represantational ME and my STUFF (from Susiestyles.com) 

2. Rag Bag
3. Sell? (will probably morph into donate before we're done.)
4. Maybe
5. Keep
And here and now I'll make a few pledges, to help keep my on track.
1. I will not keep mateless socks "in case" the mate turns up.
2. I will not keep clothes I wore before I turned 40.
3. I will not keep clothes I haven't worn in a year or more. (Ooooo. This is a hard one!)
One thing I can't promise is to give up all hope on a few things I've been keeping in case I get down to my goal weight again . . . a size 10.
I have to dream!
Tomorrow, photos of progress.

Extreme Clean Out! Books: Done!

The first challenge I faced in my Extreme Clean-Out Summer was books. I have hundreds of them, and that's after culling hundreds more.

Sell/Donate Pile!

I've been collecting these books since childhood. Some are my mother's and father's from their childhood. Books have always been something I excused myself for hoarding, because they were -- BOOKS! Can you ever have too many?
Well, yeah, if you're downsizing,  you can have too many.

I should disclose that I have a couple hundred on my Kindle, as well, but they don't take up any space, so they're staying right where they are!

As for the books I decided to detach from my collection:

Two boxes for kids

I gave many to my children; those cherished from their childhoods; some of those belonging to their father; classics they wanted.
My brother got age appropriate ones for his classroom.

Nonfiction

Several large bags went to an area nursing home, where they're being shared and circulated by the folks there.
Others I have put in the sell/donate pile, which has grown to a couple hundred books. A friend with a book selling business will look these over, and choose what she wants to purchase.
A few valuable ones I'll sell on eBay. What I don't sell, I'll donate.

And the ones I'm keeping, probably about twice what I'm tossing, I've carefully organized. One bookcase holds non-fiction I'm simply interested in, such as
books on travel, gardening, cooking, Bonsai, fish-keeping, along with books I need for writing, ranging from various reference volumes to dictionaries in French, Spanish, Italian and German, to books on how criminals think and various poisons and weapons, to how the Amish live, to oddities all about subjects such as witchcraft and fairies.
You never know what you'll need to know!

I know these days you can look up anything online, but I like a book in my hands. It's simple.

Book hall

My book hall is all my fiction, arranged by author. I have a couple other book cases filled with fiction, too.

So now, this portion of my Extreme Clean-Out is finished, I have to
tackle the much harder task of thinning out my ridiculous collection of clothes.

It's not like I have couture; rather, I have quantity in a number of sizes. And that doesn't even include my accessories: Scarves, shoes, jewelry (which should have its own category, I'm thinking). And then there's the stuff I hardly use, or used to use. Or MIGHT use again. You'll see. It's a sickness.

I still haven't decided whether to show a photo of the pile in my bedroom. I'll begin that this weekend.

But for now, I'll revel in the happily reduced volume of volumes!
I hope I've inspired you a bit. Have fun culling your own collection!
Ta ta for now.