Stink Bugs and Other Bad Things to Eat

A couple weeks ago, I was innocently digging out the last few tasty morsels from the bottom of a bag of Andy Cap Cheddar Fries; crunchy, cheesy, slightly-stale-deliciousness.
Suddenly, my enjoyment was interrupted when the cheesy taste in my mouth switched to the unmistakable flavor of . . . stink bug!
Argh!

Stink Bug

Spit spit spit. My son stood there laughing helplessly as I flushed my mouth out with handfuls of water. Which did no good.
Soon, a burning sensation filled my mouth and spread across my lips.
"Google what happens when you eat a stink bug!" I ordered my son as I brewed a strong cup of coffee.
"Hmmm...says here they release a mild toxin that irritates your mouth tissues. And if you swallow one, you could end up nauseous and vomiting!"
He looked at me hopefully. "Do you feel like vomiting?"
"I didn't swallow it! You saw me spit it out."
"Still, are you sure?"
"Do you want me to be sick?" He shrugged. "Just want to see how accurate the article is."
I shook my head and guzzled coffee. My mouth tasted like a stink bug, and before you ask how I know what a stink bug tastes . . . well, how I knew before I ate one . . . they taste just like they smell. Unmistakable!
It was not a pleasant experience. From my selfish point of view, it matters little that it was way worse for the (late) bug.
You can't avoid stink bugs in our house during the winter. They come in through microscopic cracks and fly around, sounding like bumble bees. If you squash one, it stinks. Hence the name. They can also release a stinky goo when startled, so try not to offend the little blighters.
Related to stink bugs in my mind, if not in fact, is another little beetle, the Ladybug. She's much more socially acceptable, with her pretty, red shell decorated with those iconic black polka-dots.

Lady Bug

But like the stink bug, when threatened, she releases a foul smelling and tasting chemical. That's her protection against being eaten.
But it doesn't work against drowning. In Mt. Dew. MY Mt. Dew.
Tonight, I enjoyed a rare indulgence; a can of that delicious, bilious green pop chock-a-block full of calories, caffeine and sugar. I noticed the Ladybug crawling around on the table, but ignored it.
My mistake.
Awhile later, I took a swig of Dew . . . and drowned carcass of Ladybug tipped into my mouth.
Argh!
Spit spit spit. At least I didn't CHEW this one. So there was no foul taste.

Evil Bug (www.telltalegames.com)

But the Dew was probably full of chemical released during her unfortunate accident in MY POP.

So I dumped it out, sadly.

Now I'm having a cup of tea I can see into.
Two bugs in one month is a record for me. Reminds me of the time I brushed my teeth only to find a long beetle had been nestling in the bristles of the toothbrush.
What IS it with me and beetles?
 And then there was the time back in college I woke up to find a giant roach drinking my Mt. Dew. Maybe the pop is the connection? I literally heard the insect sipping my pop. That's a story for another time. Bottoms up! And eyes open!