Resolved!

For all you resolution procrastinators out there . . . time's up! Yesterday was the last possible day one could procrastinate to if beginning something new in 2016.

I mean, you couldn't start on January 1 . . . it was on a Saturday, and nobody can start a new diet, or quit smoking, or start exercising regularly – or anything else important – on a Saturday. So that allowed you until yesterday, January 4, to begin your NEW LIFE in 2016.

I was going to start a diet a couple weeks ago, but I got a letter from the Union blocking my plan. They told me the diet belongs to 2016 and that if I attempted to begin in 2015 they'd take action against me.

So I clearly couldn't start until Saturday -- meaning Monday. It wasn't my fault! What is, is, man!

In the past I've given New Year's advice along the lines of keeping it real; not trying to bite off too much. Supposedly this leads to a greater success rate.

But I have little willpower, so have achieved little success. So I'm making a whole lot of resolutions, so I can pick and choose where to put my New Year's energy in 2016. (I reserve the right to blow off any of these at any time, for no reason at all.)

1. Lose weight. Yeah, yeah, you all have this one, too, unless you want to gain weight.
2. Eat healthier. A partner to number one, and could mean anything. Like do I give up chocolate altogether, or just eat dark chocolate, because it's healthier?
3. Quit smoking. Just kidding! I don't smoke, so this is a gimmie. I'm just patting myself on the back for having one less bad habit. Thank God, because I'd never be able to quit . . . that's a real tough goal!
4. Exercise regularly. Besides walking from my desk to the coffee machine to my desk to the bathroom to the coffee machine to my desk to the coffee machine to my desk to the bathroom.
5. Travel more. A conundrum when you consider that to travel more you have to pay more which means you have to earn more which means you have to work more which means you have less time . . . to travel!
6. Be. More. Patient.
7. Am I patient yet?
8. Try something (healthy and legal) new. No ideas on this.
9. De-clutter my house. Hey, this time I have a plan!
10. Live to see next New Year's. God willing!
    And may you all do the same. Happy New Year, and good luck with all your goals, both realistic and wishful thinking!