On the Etiquette of Borrowing

My late ex, Jim, had a saying I always liked: If you borrow something from me, don't treat it like it's your own. Treat it like it's mine!
Makes sense, right? People are always saying, "Don't worry, I'll treat it like it's my own car!" (sweater, book, shoes, etc.)
In reality, that's bad, because if you ruin something of your own, no big. But if  you ruin something of mine, big bummer!
This came to mind today when my daughter told me she'd loaned a wig to a friend of her sister's; a guy who needed it for a costume he was putting together.
That was a year ago.
Today she found out he'd gotten it dirty, and instead of washing it out, had simply thrown it away. Worse, he hadn't mentioned this, and we only found out a year later, when they needed the wig and asked to have it back.
"Oops, I threw that away a year ago!" he said. "Sorry."
What??
Ok, that guy is off the list of people this family will ever, ever loan anything to.
And to make sure you never, ever make the same mistake, let's review the etiquette of borrowing. (I made this up, but it seems like a good plan.)
The Etiquette of Borrowing
1. When you borrow something, it is not yours. It is MINE. You're not Homer Simpson, and I'm not Ned Flanders. I EXPECT to get my stuff back, undamaged, right away. Which brings us to . . .
2. You have borrowed it for a specific amount of time. This means I want it back. As soon as possible.
3. If we have not specified an amount of time, give it back the day after you use it. Or right after you wash it, as the case may be.
4. If you damage my thing, you must repair or replace it. This is not optional. Do not put a guilt trip on me by calling me up and saying, "Oh, man I broke your car, but I can't afford to fix it."
If you can't afford to fix it, you can't afford to borrow it. Capiche? If you do borrow it and break, damage or destroy it, replace it. Don't ask first, just do it. Either something as good as or better than the one you ruined.
5. If you do all these things, you may ask to borrow something of mine again. If you don't, don't bother asking. You're off the list of trusted borrowers. I'll forgive you. But I won't be dumb enough to loan you anything again.
6. You can't get back on the list. Don't try.
So now you know. Are you a good borrower? Come on . . . think about it. If you're not, there's still time to change -- except for those people off my list forever.
You're out of luck.

Maybe Ben Franklin had the right of it when he said, "Neither a borrower nor a lender be."
There's no quicker way to make enemies than to be beholden to someone, or to be the one to whom someone is beholden.
Think before you borrow. Do you really need that thing?
And only lend if you can afford to lose something or replace it.
This is triply true of money.
Some people can't be wiped off your list, after all. So be careful up front, and avoid trouble later.
That's it!