Just a happy time!

I know that the holidays can be a stressful time (who doesn’t?), and that many people are sad about lost loved ones, difficult life situations, and the many very hard bumps in our “life” roads.

The other day, I listened to someone commenting that she hates holidays in general – something about a bad extended family situation, rampant consumerism, loss of the real reason for the season, and other difficult things.

Plus, there’s so much bad going on in the world all the time, how can we justify experiencing joy when others aren’t?

My whole extended family created ridiculous ugly sweaters this year!

Yeah, I understand that these are all valid points, and everyone is entitled to their feelings. But I choose to overlook all the bad stuff and just be happy. This is my general attitude towards life, not just during the holiday season. I’m fairly annoying to the chronically pessimistic.

But it’s especially true now. What do I have to complain about that everyone else doesn’t experience, too? Life is a roller coaster; sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. At my age, I know there’s going to be time spent down. But I also know that if I hold on and scream a little, we’ll go back up the hill again.

I’m unapologetic; this is just a happy time! My kids are going to be home for Christmas. I’m able to put a turkey on the table, and gifts under the tree. We have a roof, heat, books to read, coffee to drink, each other. There are three books coming out this winter I’m anticipating eagerly. I’m taking a cruise this winter! There’s so much to look forward to!

I honestly believe happiness is a choice. I don’t live in a mental Shangri-La, but I don’t choose to be down in the dumps about the road bumps, either. There’s good stuff ahead; why not deal with the hard, while looking forward to the good?

Sometimes I get sad over things, of course. But I have faith that everything will be okay on balance. I hope this column doesn’t make you want to smack me for it, but rather makes you think, huh. I can choose to be happy, too.

God bless you, every one! And may you have a joyful and plentiful, and happy Christmas and New Year!

This News Makes Me Want to Sing!

I heard it on the radio today; the perfect excuse to not exercise! It seems that recent studies have proven that regular singing provides many of the same health benefits as doing yoga!

This is good news for me because I sing regularly, and because although I’d like to cultivate the image of being the kind of person who does yoga, (not to mention cultivating the physique of such a person!) the truth is I hate, hate, hate to exercise.

So what’s the scoop? It seems that singing involves deep, controlled breathing, with a full breath being taken in and then slowly let out with the musical phrase. In yoga practitioners draw in deep breaths and then let them out in a controlled manner, filling themselves with a sense of harmony.

It’s also been shown that members of a choir, while singing, experience a synchronizing of their heart beats, and a deep relaxation and feeling of wellbeing. Yoga is said to provide similar benefits. I wouldn’t know, though. The few times I’ve tried yoga, all I experienced was a profound sense of pain and excessive sweating, accompanied by feelings of inadequacy as I witnessed the others in the class bending their toned bodies into unnatural positions. After class I had a strange craving for pretzels.

That rarely happens when I’m singing.

The study went on to claim that the effort of moving into harmony with other singers creates a focus which enhances the health benefits of singing. I know this is true, as I’ve felt that deep connection with people with whom I’ve been singing.

All I’ve felt from people with whom I’ve done yoga is disdain or maybe pity as they observe my pathetic attempts to swoop gracefully from a crane-standing-on-waters-edge into a down dog position. And occasionally fear, as I topple sideways into someone else, threatening both their health and their sense of relaxation and harmony.

“Heh heh,” I’d mutter, picking myself up and offering a hand to my unfortunate neighbor. “That was supposed to be a down dog? I thought she said drowned dog! My bad!”

Singing mistakes rarely threaten people’s safety, although I’ve been told that people with perfect pitch can suffer profound pain when exposed to singers who are out of tune. I don’t have this problem, and frankly think that unless you’re a concert mistress or a piano tuner, perfect pitch would just be a nuisance.

It’s true that singing won’t make you thinner or stronger like yoga can if practiced regularly. But it’s not going to pull your muscles, and doesn’t require special clothing designed to embarrass you.

So I’m grabbing this chance to toss my yoga mat and tapes. The radio said I could!

I Think That I Shall Never See . . . With Apologies to Joyce Kilmer!

Trees

BY JOYCE KILMER

I think that I shall never see 

A poem lovely as a tree. 

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest 

Against the earth’s sweet flowing breast; 

A tree that looks at God all day, 

And lifts her leafy arms to pray; 

A tree that may in Summer wear 

A nest of robins in her hair; 

Upon whose bosom snow has lain; 

Who intimately lives with rain. 

Poems are made by fools like me, 

But only God can make a tree.

I hope Joyce Kilmer will forgive me for republishing his famous poem without permission. He died in 1918 at the age of 32, from a sniper's bullet in WWI. I hope he won't mind.

Today, as I watched a tree I've enjoyed for a few months since moving into my new home being cut down today, I cried. And I've been thinking about trees ever since. 

Kilmer's poem does the work for me of expressing the simple beauty of these silent giants. 

This particular tree stood across the street from my home. It was an elderly Norwegian Maple, and doubtless its time had come. But since living here, I've enjoyed watching the sunrise each morning lightening the sky, and the branches taking shape from the darkness as I sit in my chair (that still smells faintly of cat pee courtesy of a short-term kitty who stayed a few months with us last year). And each evening I've enjoyed watching the sun set behind the tree, turning the sky pink, orange or purple, highlighting the branches and twigs of the ancient maple, perfectly framed in my uncurtained window. 

It gave me peace. 

 Now the trunk stands alone, for some reason not having been removed yet, and the sky is darkening above it, without the charm of the branches that stood there for decades...possibly centuries...until today.

Do you ever wonder how it is you end up somewhere special, just at the moment in history when that thing that makes it special departs?

I'm glad I had a few months with this tree. And ridiculous as it may sound, I won't forget it. 

on DIE-t Time!

I'm no special snow flake. It's a new year, so I'm going for my typical, annual resolution: Lose Weight.
Never worked before, so I'm optimistically figuring it will this year!
What's different? Not my ability to fool myself, that's for sure!
So, how am I at least going to attempt to go about succeeding this time around?
I am going to Eat Less and Exercise More.
Yes, that is my big, secret plan.
Take in fewer calories, burn more.
So today, January 3, I started the 2017 DIE-t.
I'm going to eliminate bread, and pasta is only allowed A) On cheat day or B) in a diet frozen meal.
Cheat day is Sunday. Period. Not Sunday, plus Saturday on even months, but including Friday on days ending in "Y"
And cheat day is not the day to eat 12,000 calories, thus undoing the whole week's hard work. Cause guess what? Turns out calories are cumulative!
I know, it isn't fair, but there you have it. You can eat a righteous 1200 calories a day all week, and blow it all in one hard cheat day. That is not good on Monday when you step on the scale and you've gained all the week's weight-loss back, plus a couple pounds for good measure.
Booze is out, except, again, on cheat day. Yeah,  a glass of red wine may be healthy for my heart, but it's bad for my waistline, and that's bad for my heart, so it undoes its good effects in this case.
Wine can come back in about 60 pounds.
In is one Brazil nut every day. I read in Prevention magazine it's good for me...can't remember why.
Also in are cranberries. They want you to eat them raw, but yuck! I'll go with the dried, and try to find them without added sugar.
In is one, low fat Greek yogurt every morning. No sweat, as I was already enjoying this. That 12 grams of protein kick-starts my day and holds me over til lunch.
I'm adding a hard boiled egg to this morning routine, and all the high-test coffee I can drink, all day, til 5 p.m. when I'll switch to decaff.
Permissible lunch and dinner foods include soup, salad, eggs, lean meats, veggies, fruit, nuts, grains such as brown rice.
Out is delicious stuff like butter, maple syrup, high fat salad dressing, cereal, pancakes, sweets, candy, cookies, brownies, muffins. You get it.
Then, I must consider exercise as part of this goal. And I have.
I plan to swim once a week; lift weights once a week; walk twice a week, most likely on this nasty contraption in my living room in front of a movie.
I'll also try to throw in extra stair flights daily; yoga; and walking instead of driving where feasible.
So where does all this lead me? Hopefully, to a weight that doesn't register as dangerously obese on the health charts.
Did you know obese is not hard to be? Check out your weight, height, age, sex, etc on a BMI chart, and prepare to be depressed.
I'll tell you true, I have a long way to go, but I'm over 50 and don't want to die stupid. Heart disease? Stroke? Cancer? Injury? Diabetes? Hip and knee replacements? All can be traced to obesity.
So I'm a gonna wake up and stop smelling the bacon, and start getting smart, and lean and mean! (Mean, cause I love to eat, so fair warning.)
My target weight: 145.
My time limit: One year.
Weight to lose: That would be telling! ha! suffice to say, it's more than 60 pounds. Only a little more than five pounds a month. I can DO this!
I'm hoping for 15 pounds the first month, as my body doesn't realize what's happening to it. After that, it'll slow way down.
Here. I. Go!
(Only three days until Sunday!!!)

Stink Bugs and Other Bad Things to Eat

A couple weeks ago, I was innocently digging out the last few tasty morsels from the bottom of a bag of Andy Cap Cheddar Fries; crunchy, cheesy, slightly-stale-deliciousness.
Suddenly, my enjoyment was interrupted when the cheesy taste in my mouth switched to the unmistakable flavor of . . . stink bug!
Argh!

Stink Bug

Spit spit spit. My son stood there laughing helplessly as I flushed my mouth out with handfuls of water. Which did no good.
Soon, a burning sensation filled my mouth and spread across my lips.
"Google what happens when you eat a stink bug!" I ordered my son as I brewed a strong cup of coffee.
"Hmmm...says here they release a mild toxin that irritates your mouth tissues. And if you swallow one, you could end up nauseous and vomiting!"
He looked at me hopefully. "Do you feel like vomiting?"
"I didn't swallow it! You saw me spit it out."
"Still, are you sure?"
"Do you want me to be sick?" He shrugged. "Just want to see how accurate the article is."
I shook my head and guzzled coffee. My mouth tasted like a stink bug, and before you ask how I know what a stink bug tastes . . . well, how I knew before I ate one . . . they taste just like they smell. Unmistakable!
It was not a pleasant experience. From my selfish point of view, it matters little that it was way worse for the (late) bug.
You can't avoid stink bugs in our house during the winter. They come in through microscopic cracks and fly around, sounding like bumble bees. If you squash one, it stinks. Hence the name. They can also release a stinky goo when startled, so try not to offend the little blighters.
Related to stink bugs in my mind, if not in fact, is another little beetle, the Ladybug. She's much more socially acceptable, with her pretty, red shell decorated with those iconic black polka-dots.

Lady Bug

But like the stink bug, when threatened, she releases a foul smelling and tasting chemical. That's her protection against being eaten.
But it doesn't work against drowning. In Mt. Dew. MY Mt. Dew.
Tonight, I enjoyed a rare indulgence; a can of that delicious, bilious green pop chock-a-block full of calories, caffeine and sugar. I noticed the Ladybug crawling around on the table, but ignored it.
My mistake.
Awhile later, I took a swig of Dew . . . and drowned carcass of Ladybug tipped into my mouth.
Argh!
Spit spit spit. At least I didn't CHEW this one. So there was no foul taste.

Evil Bug (www.telltalegames.com)

But the Dew was probably full of chemical released during her unfortunate accident in MY POP.

So I dumped it out, sadly.

Now I'm having a cup of tea I can see into.
Two bugs in one month is a record for me. Reminds me of the time I brushed my teeth only to find a long beetle had been nestling in the bristles of the toothbrush.
What IS it with me and beetles?
 And then there was the time back in college I woke up to find a giant roach drinking my Mt. Dew. Maybe the pop is the connection? I literally heard the insect sipping my pop. That's a story for another time. Bottoms up! And eyes open!

Extreme Clean-out: Part Two -- Clothing Sortie!

Help! (from Lifeinpleasantville.com)

In French, the word "sortie" means an attack made by troops coming from a position of defense. I thought it was pretty appropriate for my campaign to rid myself of extra, unused clothing items, which is part two of my Spring/Summer Extreme Clean-out!
I kind of liked the play on words, too . . . sortie . . . sorting . . . get it?
I decided I simply couldn't face the world seeing photos of my clothes hording situation before I started sorting out, so this post will have no pics from my actual house.
Picture in your mind a pile of clothes in sizes ranging from current to five years ago all the way back to wishful thinking, overflowing the closets and dresser, piled on the chairs and heaped on the floor in my room.
Oh, the shame!
I've made a good start, creating several categories of new piles.
They are:
1. Donate

Represantational ME and my STUFF (from Susiestyles.com) 

2. Rag Bag
3. Sell? (will probably morph into donate before we're done.)
4. Maybe
5. Keep
And here and now I'll make a few pledges, to help keep my on track.
1. I will not keep mateless socks "in case" the mate turns up.
2. I will not keep clothes I wore before I turned 40.
3. I will not keep clothes I haven't worn in a year or more. (Ooooo. This is a hard one!)
One thing I can't promise is to give up all hope on a few things I've been keeping in case I get down to my goal weight again . . . a size 10.
I have to dream!
Tomorrow, photos of progress.

Extreme Clean Out! Books: Done!

The first challenge I faced in my Extreme Clean-Out Summer was books. I have hundreds of them, and that's after culling hundreds more.

Sell/Donate Pile!

I've been collecting these books since childhood. Some are my mother's and father's from their childhood. Books have always been something I excused myself for hoarding, because they were -- BOOKS! Can you ever have too many?
Well, yeah, if you're downsizing,  you can have too many.

I should disclose that I have a couple hundred on my Kindle, as well, but they don't take up any space, so they're staying right where they are!

As for the books I decided to detach from my collection:

Two boxes for kids

I gave many to my children; those cherished from their childhoods; some of those belonging to their father; classics they wanted.
My brother got age appropriate ones for his classroom.

Nonfiction

Several large bags went to an area nursing home, where they're being shared and circulated by the folks there.
Others I have put in the sell/donate pile, which has grown to a couple hundred books. A friend with a book selling business will look these over, and choose what she wants to purchase.
A few valuable ones I'll sell on eBay. What I don't sell, I'll donate.

And the ones I'm keeping, probably about twice what I'm tossing, I've carefully organized. One bookcase holds non-fiction I'm simply interested in, such as
books on travel, gardening, cooking, Bonsai, fish-keeping, along with books I need for writing, ranging from various reference volumes to dictionaries in French, Spanish, Italian and German, to books on how criminals think and various poisons and weapons, to how the Amish live, to oddities all about subjects such as witchcraft and fairies.
You never know what you'll need to know!

I know these days you can look up anything online, but I like a book in my hands. It's simple.

Book hall

My book hall is all my fiction, arranged by author. I have a couple other book cases filled with fiction, too.

So now, this portion of my Extreme Clean-Out is finished, I have to
tackle the much harder task of thinning out my ridiculous collection of clothes.

It's not like I have couture; rather, I have quantity in a number of sizes. And that doesn't even include my accessories: Scarves, shoes, jewelry (which should have its own category, I'm thinking). And then there's the stuff I hardly use, or used to use. Or MIGHT use again. You'll see. It's a sickness.

I still haven't decided whether to show a photo of the pile in my bedroom. I'll begin that this weekend.

But for now, I'll revel in the happily reduced volume of volumes!
I hope I've inspired you a bit. Have fun culling your own collection!
Ta ta for now.

Extreme Clean-out in the Days of Sunshine and Cicadas

This Book Hall is more Extreme than ours!

I did sort through more books today; this project will take a full week. I will be putting a lot of them back into the book hall, but they'll be organized by author so if I want to read, say, a particular Nora Roberts series, I'll be able to go right to it, instead of fruitlessly searching . . . and even re-buying! . . . the same book again when you already own it! I found three copies of one book!
The sell/donate pile is growing!
When I'm done, I'll take a last photo of the sell/donate pile, and my beautifully organized book hall and bookcases.
This involves dusting and vacuuming.
The kids have been helpful.
But summer is coming, and the weather is nice outside, so outdoor activities also call me, forcing me away from my book sorting. (My legs ache after sitting Indian-style for so long anyway!)
To be useful, I pulled four or five weeds from the cracks in the driveway, and felt righteous.
In other news . . .
Molly saved a bullfrog missing the skin from one leg . . . it's temporarily living in the veterinary tank on the back porch, getting treatment as recommended by the online amphibian forum.

Extreme Bull Frog!

EVERYTHING exists online!
I bought a black, pleather futon for the girls college apartment at a barn sale . . . for $25! Score!
It has joined the masses of furniture and other debris in the garage (a part of the Extreme Clean-up coming later this summer!) That'll be after books, clothes and kitchen stuff.
Later in the day, I stood talking to a neighbor in the yard, and half a dozen cicadas attempted to climb my pants while we talked. It's crazy out there. I'm not kidding. It's literally an invasion.
But they're harmless.
They do not eat your trees, plants, grass, etc.

Extreme Cicadas! 

They DO fly down your shirt, sneak into your home on your back and zoom around while your family runs screaming and the cats chase them up walls and curtains, and glare at you with those eerie, red eyes. Their song is already filling the air, somewhere between a frog chorus and an alien spaceship landing.
They'll be gone within weeks. I remember collecting the shells as a child in a former emergence. I remember them zooming around when I was at Ohio University in the early '80s.
Last time they were here, in 1999, Cooper was a newborn and I was 37. Now he's 17. I'm 53.
When the babies of these current cicadas come up from below ground in 17 years, Cooper will be 34. I'll be 70!
Good Lord!
Time as measured in cicada generations is daunting.
So I'll stick to my Extreme Clean-up, in the time of Cicadas. I think they're neat. I just don't want them flying down my shirt. That'll freak me out!
And now, I'm going to go read a book, enjoy a glass of wine, and relax. Because that, in the end, is a big part of what it's all about, right?
Bloody-well right!

Extreme Clean-out: Books and Yoga

Totally me doing Yoga while reading!

What does Yoga have to do with an Extreme Clean-Out of my house?
It's all about attitude.
I've found that when I strive to improve one area of my life, a desire soon rises in me to try and improve others, too.
Sometimes this isn't good; bite off too much, you choke on it, right?
So keeping that in mind, I'm trying to do an overall overhaul of my lifestyle. I guess if I fall on my face, I can use the old "I tried to do too much at once!" moan as an excuse.
But here's the thing: I want to go small, right? I mean, in my next home. Should be easy, right? Just toss, dump, sell, donate, CLEAN OUT!
But who I am at 50-something has taken a long time to achieve. I didn't accumulate all these books and THINGS overnight. Remember, I'm the caretaker of the junk of many dead ancestors.
And yes, dumping 3/4 of this stuff is really, really going to help me start fresh.
But.
It isn't enough.
Besides improving the state of my house, I want to improve the state of my mind and body. If I'm not healthy, it won't matter if I achieve my goals.
So one of the areas upon which I'll focus is my physical well-being. And guess what? Going through all those books has pointed to one way to improve that.
While sorting books, I came across a book called, "A Morning Cup of Yoga."
Initially, I tossed it into a keep pile, figuring I'd look at it someday -- as I've intended for years since buying it. (Lies to herself.)
Four or five days into my Extreme Clean-Out, I found myself with a different attitude.

My spiffy Fitbit!

It may have something to do with my new Fitbit, too. I traded in my cute little Fitbit Zip for a more advanced product, the Fitbit Charge. It tells me how many steps I've taken, as well as monitoring my heart rate and sleep habits (seriously!) and telling me how many flights of stairs I've climbed and calories I've burned daily. (No, I don't own Fitbit stock. Heh.)
With that kind of information, how can I NOT try my best to live a little better?
I'm not going to be crazy about this. I'm not swearing off snacks, wine, coffee, fat, salt, in fact, all the good stuff. But I'll try to eat a little less of that stuff, and a little more whole grain, greenery, plain water, etc. And chocolate. Because . . . just because.
And I'm trying to exercise daily. This is mostly walking -- haven't made the 10,000 steps yet, but I hit 7,000 yesterday, and I'm at 5,500 today so far.
I've got to be honest. You're probably not going to see photos of me on FB at the finish line of a race.
But today I figured I'd toss in a little living room Yoga. I just followed the pictures in the book!
It didn't hurt. Much.
So. That's a start.
I have a long, long way to go this summer if I hope to greet the fall with a cleaned-out home, organized closets, and fitter, healthier me.
Everything positive I do towards that deserves a reward. (Okay, I had a piece of cake. That's a good reward! I thank my friend, Linda, for that. But first, I made her walk with me!)

The Book Hallway

The Sell/Donate Pile is Growing!

And I've culled a couple hundred more books from tonight's target, the book hallway. That, as it turns out, is going to take more than one day. I just keep getting sucked in! (I'd forgotten I have this entire series of vampire romances by Lynsay Sands! Yummy!)
So tomorrow, book hallway again. A little more walking. And I'll feel a little bit better about me!
Of course, I haven't tackled my next project yet -- clothes! It'll make books look easy-peasey. I'm not sure I'll have the courage to post pictures of my pile of clothes, my packed closets, my disorderly drawers. We'll see. I guess if a little embarrassment helps me proceed, it'll be worth it.
(I'd love to hear your stories about your clean-out journey. If you're doing an extreme clean-out, post comments here. Pics, too! We can do it together!) 

I'd rather be reading!

Extreme Clean-Out, Part One: Books! Day Two ~ The Journey Continues

To bring you up to date, I've embarked on a journey this summer, of the soul and spirit as much as a material journey. My goal: To purge my home of all the surplus stuff accumulated over the 35 years or so of my (supposed) adulthood.

The book hallway

I decided to tackle what at first seemed to be the easiest thing; my enormous collection of books. It seemed easy because although there are too many of them, they were fairly organized and accessible, in bookcases or stacked along walls.

Can't get rid of these . . . 

But in reality it has turned out to be harder than I thought to get rid of these volumes. See, I reread my books over and over. The ones I've kept all these years, some dating to childhood, are really old friends.
I simply can't part with many of them.
Laura Ingalls Wilder is safe. Jane Austen as well. Anne McAffrey stays. I'm keeping Nora Roberts, too. And then there are the books I used to read to my kids. King Bidgood's in the Bathtub; Rainbow Fish; Slobcat; No No Nikki; Tom and Pippo; Moo, Baa, La la la; and so many others.
Likewise, I can't part with the books of my own childhood, such as Winnie the Pooh; Now we are Six, also by A.A. Milne; my collection of Anne of Green Gables, and others.
I have to keep all the books on Bonsai, even though I kill Bonsai; on growing orchids, because I have one now! And my books on salt water aquariums, because I intend to have one someday.
It adds up, you know?
But I've made good progress. I have a growing stack of around 200 books ready to sell and donate.
And still have my book hall to explore tomorrow.
Today's chore was the big bookcase in my bedroom.

It's hard not to get distracted while visiting with old friends

A new toilet is an exciting thing!

I got a little distracted from time to time, between being sucked into a book now and then, and my brother and son installing a shiny, new toilet (one that actually flushes when you push the handle -- a n
ovelty here, where we are used to standing over the toilet, plunger in hand, ready for the worst when we flush.)
But at the end of the day, I have a stack of keepers I really, really want (or at least want to reread before passing them on) and have added to the stack with which I can part.
Tomorrow I'll go after the big collection in the book hall . . . or maybe the pile behind the armchair in the living room. Almost forgot about that!

The Giveaway/Sell Pile is Growing!

Extreme Clean-out: Part One -- Books! Day one . . .

I'm exhausted. Mentally, which feels like physically. Why? Because I've had to decide which of my collection of beloved books to abandon! Give away! (Okay, for money, hopefully, but still, it feels like a betrayal.)

If you read last night's post, you saw all the pictures of book cases, book stacks, book bunches and baskets in my house. There are hundreds of books ranging from coffee table to humor to children's to smutty romance to action adventure to teen to classics.
Some are easy to toss. I never really liked the Bronte sisters. (I've heard some people do!) So buh-bye Wuthering Heights. (Ok, my daughter grabbed it, so it's technically still here, but I have hopes that it'll move out someday, when she does!)
Shakespeare, too . . . so long, Romeo. Don't forget to take Juliette with you. (I hate that play, and all plays/musicals/songs derived from it. Out! Out! Damn play.
J.R. Ward had me for awhile, as evinced by the stack of sexy vampire romances. But eventually, they got too . . . ridiculous. However, if you're into hot, and I mean STEAMY, vampire novels, these are well done. But I'm done with them.
Also going, although with some regret, are Lillian Jackson  Braun's Cat Who mystery books. My good friend Karen and I read through them together ages ago. They are really good, and I recommend them. I mean, you've got a newspaper man who solves murders with his two Siamese cats. How could you improve on that? I think I'll probably collect the series (nearly 30 of them!) on my Kindle.
Jan Karon's Mitford series is outta here, though I did love them. Someone else can spend lovely days with Father Tim, that lovable, Episcopal priest as he finds love and the meaning of life.
I tossed no Nora Roberts; no Lincoln Douglas & Preston Child; no Jack Whyte and his amazing Camulod Chronicles; no Jane Austen (duh); and I'm keeping Betty Crocker's classic Dinner for Two.
That's it for tonight. . . I got through three bookcases in my dining room. Tomorrow, I'll confront the pile behind the armchair in the living
room, and possibly the hall bookcase.
Right now, I have to go read some weird book about Viking Vixens I'd forgotten I had. See you Saturday!

Extreme Clean-out: Part One -- Books!

Hi, my name is Anne, and I'm a Bibliophile. I may have a little problem when it comes to books. I've always loved them, always coveted them. It wasn't a problem when I was a child, and used the
library, where they expect you to return the books you've read. But then I grew up and discovered book stores.
Oh, the wonder! The smell! The color! The sweet temptation.
So I started buying books. And I just kept on buying books. After all, I reasoned, they were good to have, right? I do reread books over and over, so most of my books really get used. And I loan them to friends.
I have books about every subject I've ever wanted to explore, from orchids to bonsai to hiking the Appalachian Trial to wine making to parakeet keeping to writing murder mysteries to classics to brain candy (romance, chic lit, etc.)
My children also love books, and may have inherited a little "book habit" from their father (who ALSO loved books) and me. We have many, beloved children's books I can't toss, as I remember holding my tiny tots on my lap and reading these stories aloud. Goodnight Moon. Green Eggs and Ham. Little House in the Big Woods. All the Harry Potter books.
Consequently, I have hundreds of books. And in my extreme clean-out and eventual downsizing plan, I won't have room for hundreds of books.
So I have to sort em out and divvie em up.
I'll make two piles, first: Keep and toss.
Of the toss, I'll make two piles: Sell and donate.
This is going to take a few days. I'll take pics when I'm done and let you know how many books I've managed to part with. Wish me luck!

Spring is here . . . time for an EXTREME clean-out!

I'm readying myself for an extreme downsizing within the next couple years. After nearly 30 years of adult life, I've accumulated a lot of stuff . . . not all of which I'll be keeping, and not all of which I'll be able to foist off on my kids.
I also have the accumulated, inherited STUFF of many dead family members under my roof. I used to think these things were sacred, and I must continue as a custodian in the chain of ownership, but I've changed my viewpoint.
I realize that I don't need to own stuff to remember people.
And I don't need to own as much stuff to be happy.
I've been fantasizing lately about living in a much smaller space, in a sort of Zen fashion, with only the things that really give me pleasure or are necessary for my comfort, survival and day to day living around me.
Looking around, I now feel I can comfortably, even happily, toss out 90 percent of the stuff in my home.
I've already downsized from a 5000 + sq. ft. home to one a couple thousand sq. ft. But I want to go smaller.
Not, I think, into one of those eeny little portable tiny houses, around 192 sq. feet. For one thing, I feel I'm beyond crawling up into a loft to sleep these days.
For another, I want to be able to host my kids if they visit. That means a couple bedrooms. Two would suit me..
I think something around 500-800 sq. feet will do.
With that in mind, I need to fling-boogy a whole lot of stuff.
So this summer, that is my goal. I'll be blogging about it on here a couple times a week. Join me on my extreme downsizing journey, part one: The Stuff Toss.
Out the door will go knick-knacks, jewelry, art, books, clothes, housewares, furniture, you name it! Even albums and certificates.
I'll make digital copies of that kind of thing.
As for the rest, I'll sell what I can, and donate the balance.
Stay tuned! It begins this weekend.

Resolved!

For all you resolution procrastinators out there . . . time's up! Yesterday was the last possible day one could procrastinate to if beginning something new in 2016.

I mean, you couldn't start on January 1 . . . it was on a Saturday, and nobody can start a new diet, or quit smoking, or start exercising regularly – or anything else important – on a Saturday. So that allowed you until yesterday, January 4, to begin your NEW LIFE in 2016.

I was going to start a diet a couple weeks ago, but I got a letter from the Union blocking my plan. They told me the diet belongs to 2016 and that if I attempted to begin in 2015 they'd take action against me.

So I clearly couldn't start until Saturday -- meaning Monday. It wasn't my fault! What is, is, man!

In the past I've given New Year's advice along the lines of keeping it real; not trying to bite off too much. Supposedly this leads to a greater success rate.

But I have little willpower, so have achieved little success. So I'm making a whole lot of resolutions, so I can pick and choose where to put my New Year's energy in 2016. (I reserve the right to blow off any of these at any time, for no reason at all.)

1. Lose weight. Yeah, yeah, you all have this one, too, unless you want to gain weight.
2. Eat healthier. A partner to number one, and could mean anything. Like do I give up chocolate altogether, or just eat dark chocolate, because it's healthier?
3. Quit smoking. Just kidding! I don't smoke, so this is a gimmie. I'm just patting myself on the back for having one less bad habit. Thank God, because I'd never be able to quit . . . that's a real tough goal!
4. Exercise regularly. Besides walking from my desk to the coffee machine to my desk to the bathroom to the coffee machine to my desk to the coffee machine to my desk to the bathroom.
5. Travel more. A conundrum when you consider that to travel more you have to pay more which means you have to earn more which means you have to work more which means you have less time . . . to travel!
6. Be. More. Patient.
7. Am I patient yet?
8. Try something (healthy and legal) new. No ideas on this.
9. De-clutter my house. Hey, this time I have a plan!
10. Live to see next New Year's. God willing!
    And may you all do the same. Happy New Year, and good luck with all your goals, both realistic and wishful thinking!

It's New Year's Day! Another year...we've lived to see its start.
And as always, I'm filled with optimism at the year's dawning.
And with big plans!
THIS is the year I'll get back to a healthy weight. Why not? It's hardly an impossible goal, after all.
Here's my plan. . .
Eat less.
Exercise more.
Ta da!
I spoke with an expert recently, who said a good little trick when trying to eat healthier is, rather than deciding to eliminate all unhealthy items from your diet (unrealistic much??) you should rather resolve to add healthy items.
She told me this will result in you consuming fewer unhealthy calories and foods. . . and this is how you can trick yourself into eating healthier...and losing weight as a byproduct.
THIS is the year I'll finish a novel, and market it. Maybe I can become a published novelist! Why not? It's hardly an impossible goal, after all.
Here's my plan. . .
Finish the book I began during the NANOWRIMO challenge in November, polish it up, and try to sell the darned thing. It's an Amish romance . . . they're hot right now. (Although the book isn't...no sex in these things!)
THIS is the year I'll finally go to Europe! Why not? It's hardly an impossible goal, after all! I'm looking into visiting Italy, and have been studying Italian since June.
THIS is the year I'll get the clutter in my house under control.
Well . . . maybe I need to be realistic. ;)
After all, the experts all agree one should be realistic about those New Year's goals!
Maybe I'll clean out my closet, anyway.
Happy New Year, and good luck with your goals!

on the Accidental Unleashing of your Inner B****

I am a mild mannered reporter. Literally.
It takes a lot to get me riled. I've learned, at great cost, diplomacy and patience. I listen, assess,and make carefully weighed decisions.

I Am Very Calm: Usually

I don't "fly off the handle."
Usually.
Yet this morning, for no reason I can figure out, I let a person who called in to the paper get my goat. Heck, I let her kill it and roast it, and I served it up with some nice little potatoes and beans.
I actually argued with her.

Angry Phone Lady

What happened to The Customer is Always Right?
I turned into Angry Phone Lady.
But then, when I realized I was out of line and tried to back-peddle, she wouldn't stop going blah blah blah.
So I may have spoken to her just a teensy bit sharply, just, you  know, to calm her down.
Heh.
Anyway, in the end, I had to give her her way, and ended up being told by the boss (me) to call her back and apologize.
I felt better afterward. And now we're best buds.
(Would you like a little beer with that crow, ma'am?)
Has this ever happened to you?
Sure it has, right? Right?
You're just rolling along, sipping your second cuppa, when, wham! For no apparent reason something comes in and unleashes your inner b****.
And you are off and running, before you have a moment to think, whoa! No, B****! Get BACK IN THE CAGE!

Mild Mannered Reporter

And then you're apologizing, and then you're ranting and venting to anyone who will listen, and then you're winding down thinking, what the hell was that?
And then you're apologizing again.
And then you're blogging about it and hoping it doesn't happen again soon, cause that B**** is bad. And she needs to stay under wraps.
Sigh.
Tomorrow I'll be a mild mannered reporter again.
(Rowr.)

on where are you in the passing lane?

Driving a car is an adventure I participate in every day. I don't enjoy it as much as I used to, but I've gotten to be pretty good at it. These days I spend around an hour a day riding the interstate up and down between home and work, and I've begun to notice patterns in the drivers around me.
It must be understood that I am a GOOD driver, while anyone of whose driving I disapprove is understood to be a BAD driver.
Given these boundaries, see if you've noticed the same sort of things I have.
Today, I'm going to discuss the way people pass other cars.

Stay right: Pass left

Everyone knows that you're supposed to ride in the right lane unless you need to pass another vehicle. Then, not approaching the vehicle in front of you too closely (you want them to be able to see you in their side mirrors -- NOT up their tailpipe through their rear view mirror) you signal, make sure you've been seen, check your mirrors, turn to see if anyone is in your blind spots left and right, and then smoothly slide over into the left lane, where you ride long enough to swiftly, but not surpassing legal speed, pass the vehicle in the right lane (known as the slow poke), before signaling right and returning, a safe, clear distance past that slow poke, into the right lane to continue on your way.
You may have noticed that not every driver follows these guidelines. Those who do are henceforth to be known as Polite Passers.
I've categorized a number of people I consider to be unsafe, impolite or otherwise unkempt in the passing lane.

Upset Driver

First is the Divide and Conquer Passer. This person zooms up on your back bumper before swooping around you, as if he's drawing a semi-circle around your car, and cutting back into your lane with maybe a car's length's distance between you and zooming up the road to do the same to the next guy in the right lane.  It's like watching someone play hopscotch. These drivers skip up the highway, dashing in and out of lanes, giving people heart attacks as they run up their tailpipes and then spew road dust into their windshields getting back into the right lane.
Maybe worse than the Divide and Conquer Passers are the Blitzkrieg Passers. (Although the technique is not wrong in itself, it's the speed at which it's done to which I object.) These folks attack a line of cars like it's their job, once again zooming up on the rearmost car, but then, maybe signaling and maybe not, zipping into the left lane for a long, fast run past all other cars in the right lane until there are no more. This is even more nerve-wracking on a two-lane highway, as these nuts cut it to the last second, making oncoming cars consider diving for the right side ditch to avoid a head-on collision. The Blitzkrieg Passer is going to defeat the enemy decisively, all at once, in one attack. This driver usually cruises along at around 20 mph above the speed limit. The best thing that can be said for him is he'll soon be gone.
Perhaps worse than the Blitzkrieg Passer is the FAIL Passer. This fellow just has to pass. If you're in the left lane attempting to do a bit of Blitzkrieg passing (at legal speeds, of course, because you're a responsible driver and everyone else is inexplicably moving at snail speed) he'll come up on your butt and let you know he wants you to MOVE -- NOW!

Advice Mallard says, "Get over and let them pass!"

You do, and he passes you without a glance, gets up next to that semi you were going to take on on the next uphill straight, and -- nothing. He loses his nerve, or his momentum, or whatever, and just rides along next to that semi, making it impossible for anyone to pass, until he has a long line of irritated drives piled up behind him. You're observing patiently from a safe distance behind the semi, of course. Finally, he'll lose his nerve completely and dive back over into the right lane, probably cutting you off dangerously close, while all those pissed-off motorists sail by, glaring or making rude gestures.
Better pass him, too, or he'll do it all again.
The final category of passer I've noticed is the Sudden Surpriser. This guy is going along innocently in the right lane, and somebody decides to pass him, when -- SURPRISE! He darts out in front of them with inches to spare, causing a long line of red brake lights to appear as he soars into the left lane and down the road, blithely ignoring the angry honks and gestures in his wake. These passers are the worst. You don't see them coming. They could be literally anybody -- the cop in front of you; the semi truck tooling up the hill; the little old lady you saw last week in church.
You must suspect everyone in the right lane of being a potential Sudden Surprise Passer.
It's enough to make us Polite Passers stay home.
Pass this on to your friends. The life you save could be mine.

The Life You Save Could Be Mine!

on Progresso per mio viaggio in Italia

The Goal

So I've been trying to raise money towards my trip (mio viaggio) to Italy for a little over a month now, mostly by selling stuff from my house on eBay.
And I've made some distressing discoveries . ..
So far, by relisting everything I've tried, and failed, to sell several (up to six times in some cases) times . . . I owe eBay more than $100 in listing fees.
Hmmm. This may not be the route to take.
Peccato! (Too bad!)

Winter Wizard Figurine -- Wanna buy?

I'm either going to have to be more discriminating as to what I list, though I thought all those scouting tee shirts, cartoon Christmas figurines and Cat's Meow lighthouses would be far more
popular; or I'm going to have to make a rule that I list it once, and if it doesn't sell, I get rid of it.
Perhaps I'm trying to get too much money out of my old junk? Just because I paid too much for it when it was new doesn't mean some other jerk is going to make the same mistake now.
I refuse to give up my master plan of turning the unwanted, unneeded, redundant stuff in my home into a fabulous trip to Italy next summer.
I've been spending an hour a day studying Italian language, and more reading up on Venice and Rome; my two destination cities.

Nothing left!

I'm just going to have to re-strategize.  (That's a word now.)
So the new plan:
1. List the junk cheaper. List it once. Get rid of what doesn't sell.

Me next summer!

2. Open a separate bank account just for the money I make toward the trip, as I've discovered it's all too easy to spend what's in my Paypal account -- then there's nothing left!
3. Start planning the itinerary. That'll motivate me even more!
If it all works out as I hope, this time next year I'll be returning from Italy to a less-cluttered house, ready to plan my next grand adventure.
Meanwhile, I'll keep you posted as to my progress!