I believe we've established the fact that I don't like cleaning. Yet if were to ask my more fastidious friends whether they find my house disgusting, they'd have to honestly say, no, it may not live up to their standards of sparkling cleanliness, but it is always presentable and rarely smells bad. (If the dog attacks a skunk, I, the Shabby Housekeeper, can not be held responsible for any lingering scent.)
So how do I keep the house from sinking into disgustification?
Easy. Remember the old adage, "Many hands make light work?"
Well, I'm here to attest to the truth of this, folks.
The trick is to get your kids to pitch in on a regular, predictable schedule of home maintenance.
I've never been able to understand people who whine and complain that their kids won't do any chores, and that they end up doing everything on their own.
Call the wah-mbulance!
I suspect one of two things is going on in such cases. Either they are terribly wimpy parents whose kids know how to work them to perfection, or they're control freaks who don't think anyone can clean (or do anything else) to their standards, and so always reject or redo other people's efforts.
Well, you won't catch me making either of these mistakes. If my kids want to eat the food I provide, sleep in my house, ride in my car, go on vacations, wear clothes I buy, etc...they'll darn well pitch in to keep our environment livable.
And as for not being satisfied with the job they do on chores, well, how are they going to learn if I don't let them have at it? I may offer constructive criticism, but I'm always grateful and appreciative of their efforts.
I know women who reload the dishwasher after their kids or husbands load it. Idiots! Pretty soon, nobody is going to bother to help you!
I know people who won't let their kids cook, vacuum, run the Swiffer Wet Jet, scrub out the toilet, run a load of wash or cut the grass.
Why? Are these people so endowed with extra time that they don't want help? Do they actually want to do everything by themselves?
Well, that ain't me, sister.
So here's the secret of my success: The weekly whole-house-clean-up. Or, if we're pressed for time, the abridged first floor clean-up.
Every member of the family has his or her assigned chores for this event.
We all put away whatever of our stuff has migrated around the house during the week.
I pick up and sort out all mail, piles of paper, and stuff, and carry dishes to the kitchen. .
One kid does the kitchen, top to bottom.
Another kid vacuums everything, including canistering the edges.
I do the bathroom.
I dust (using old, mismatched socks I wear on my hands...fun and effective!)
We each are responsible for our own rooms.
And in about an hour, we have a clean house.
Not bad, huh? So okay, maybe I'm raising the next generation of shabby housekeepers. But my sons and daughters will know how to scrub out a toilet; clean dishes by hand; use a vacuum cleaner; mow the yard; rake the leaves; dust the furniture; make their beds; and mop the floors.
It'll be good-e-darn-nuff.
And I thank my mother in Heaven every day for not turning me into a neurotic cleaning machine.
Meanwhile, my kids, like me, enjoy reading a good book, and, in their cases, drinking a can of Mt. Dew with it.
God bless em! They cause a lot of the mess around the place, so it's only right they help clean it up.
They can stay until they start eyeballing my coffee. Then they'll to find their own places to keep clean-e-darn-nuff.
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