Who is The Shabby Housekeeper?

The Realization
Most of my adult life I've realized that I don't quite measure up in terms of the domestic arts. I admit it came as a shock when I first became aware that some people are in the habit of regularly performing chores I consider optional -- or at least infrequent and annoying necessities.
Examples of these chores include: Scrubbing out one's toilets weekly; changing bed sheets more than once a month; keeping up with the laundry and -- crazy, crazy notion!! -- putting it away, neatly folded, in drawers; and my personal favorite, getting down on one's hands and knees to tackle the kitchen floor.
Haven't these people heard of the Swiffer Wet Jet? (More on that wonderful invention later!)

The Guilt
I grew up in what many of my friends would consider a slovenly household. The funny thing is, it's not like we didn't clean. Every Saturday, my sisters and brothers and I cleaned the house. I remember using Lemon Pledge (ahhh...that shine!) on the wood furniture, and vacuuming the oriental rugs (don't suck up the fringes!). We did the dishes every night after dinner, and we had to keep our bedrooms clean.
We developed a great game to deal with the bedrooms when we were pretty young. I shared a room with my next youngest sister, Jen, and we trashed it regularly with toys and clothes like all normal, non-drone kids do. Once in awhile my parents would get sick of stepping on Barbie parts and hurting their feet, and they'd tell us to muck it out.
We hated it, of course. So Jen and I came up with Batgirl Clean-up. We'd put underwear on the outside of our pants, pull on a Halloween mask, and run into the closet (the Bat Elevator). The Bat Elevator would stop on each floor of the Bat Cave, and we'd run out, pick something up and toss it into a drawer, hamper or toy chest, and then rush back into the Bat Elevator to take it to another floor for more quick pick-ups. It made cleaning fun!
But really, our house was a mess, and doubtless kind of dirty even after we "cleaned."
And I've got to say, who cares? We loved each other and we mostly enjoyed our childhoods. So there you go.
Fast forward to the future, when I was running my own slovenly household, and I gradually became aware of the fact that other women worked a whole lot harder than I to keep their homes spotless.
Okay, I admit I felt kind of guilty about this, and I'd apologize when friends would stop by unexpectedly before I could clean up. (WHY do women do this??)
But over the years, even when I considered my house clean, I'd see the disparaging looks some of my friends would give it, and I'd feel guilty and ashamed.
Why? Because somewhere along the line they learned to clean things "better" than I did.
Well, again, who cares?

And Acceptance
I'm not going to change. I've actually tried a few times, and yeah, it felt good when someone would say, wow! Your house looks great. On the other hand, it kind of felt like a backhanded compliment, because I felt they were also implying that usually it looked like crap. Maybe I was reading things that weren't there.
So though I may backslide and apologize for my messy house when you stop in for a visit, I'll try to catch myself quickly and simply offer you a cup of coffee, or, depending on the time of day, a glass of wine. And simply enjoy my life, instead of fretting over What Cannot Be, and Whom I Am Not.
Take me or leave me.
So to all you other slovenly housekeepers out there -- and I know I'm not alone!! -- I say let's band together, go into the homes of our "clean freak" friends, sniff suspiciously and say, "Is that cat litter I smell?"
It'll drive 'em bonkers! Especially if they don't have a cat!